Waking Dogs

It's Monday, April 4th at around 11am. Woke with a headache and wondered, "Why do I hate getting up on mornings I have to work?"

I repeat. It's Monday, April 4th at around 11am. Where am I? Sitting in my kitchen, typing this. Why do I hate to get up on mornings when I have to work? I didn't wake up until 10am. I have three whole appointments today. At 3pm, 5:30pm and 7ish. Why do I bitch? If it was Saturday, and I had to go do something at 3. 5:30 and 7ish I wouldn't bitch. I wouldn't care, most likely, unless it was some sort of unpleasant thing like a funeral. Even then I wouldn't really mind. But because it's work, and work means money, I get resentful.

Money is terrible shit. I really am growing to despise it, and like food, I feel like I can never have enough no matter what. I love money, I hate money like I love and hate weed, coke, fast food, television, beer, movies, nice cars, cheap sex, expensive well fitting clothes and exotic vacations. It's just never enough. It only seems to feed my yen.

I am trying to change myself. I am trying to realize that if I just can see the world differently I can be free of all the resentment and just enjoy life. I woke up today and had all those crap thoughts. Then I thought, hey, it's 11 am and I'm sitting in my kitchen in my pj's drinking coffee, typing, and I don't have to do anything until 3pm. That's awesome. And when I meet with my kids, I'm going to enjoy myself like I ususally do, and I'm going to be well compensated for my efforts. I have a great life.

And it's perfectly true.